eventually, i hope to get a job at NESN as the official melon polisherIt's good to know that, while Katie and I write a blog called the Papelblog, we are not actually the most hyperbolic people out there when it comes to describing the bad-ass new closer:
A beautiful gift fell from the sky this spring and landed at the feet of the Boston Red Sox. It was so radiant, they didn't know what to do with it at first. So precious, they have come to treat it with exceptional care. So powerful, the mind races at what the future could hold. For now, however, it is simply a gift that should be shared with and enjoyed by the world. All behold, Jonathan Papelbon.
Awesome. I bet this guy would totally sit around and sing "The Circle of Life" with me. From a Washington Post article available here. The rest of the article is mostly blah, blah will the Sox make him a starter next year, blah, blah will he win the Cy Young/Rookie of the Year/AL MVP. My feelings on the latter, for the record, is that all awards in the MLB became meaningless when Big Papi didn't win the AL MVP in 2005, so I don't really care one way or the other. Simba's feelings on the matter, according to this article in the Boston Herald: “I think Rookie of the Year would be the most important to me because you only get one chance at it."
So, anyway, I have noticed recently that my still-rather-hyperbolic co-writer and I appear to be operating as a minority within a minority in the blogosphere: Red Sox bloggers who are women who don't hate Hazel Mae. At first, this puzzled me. But then I remembered that I'm a lesbian, and that ... explained some things. Katie, on the other hand, is not a lesbian. But right after we first met three summers ago, we were going to hang out with someone we didn't really like, and I said, "Well, you know, she has a nice rack, so if what's she's saying gets irritating, just focus on that," and Katie agreed to at least try, so I really recommend that you at least try to give Hazel Mae the same treatment, because, seriously, did you see
Also, let's not forget that there is a unsourced, unproven and unreliable internet rumor that she is hitting it with Tito, which I like to pretend is 100% completely true because it makes the world a better place.