katie says she can't talk about it, but she knows better than anybody that not talking about things isn't exactly my strong suit"He’s going to still be around here, around the ballpark, giving us the advice we need and the leadership we need," closer Jonathan Papelbon said.
From here. And thus Paps says the only thing about the Varitek injury that has not immediately made me want to drink bleach. It's like I was saying to Kristen -- he might not be able to play until early September (awesome, I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit), but if I can't have him behind the plate, I want him joined at the hip with Al Nipper the entire time. The only time he's allowed to leave Nipper's side is for occasional strolls down to the bullpen, so he can pat Jonathan on the head and tell him he's doing just fine and glare at Julian Tavarez and tell him that the only good thing about being on the DL for four weeks is not having to catch the abortions he calls pitches.
Oh, who am I kidding, Tavarez hasn't even actually done anything to enrage me in weeks, at this point I'm just lashing out at everybody. I'm pretty sure that the only thing that could make me feel better if is someone broke Matsui's other wrist.
And videotaped it.
And sent me a copy.
Taped to a bottle of Jack Daniels.