i pride myself in reaching new lows of heat-related delirium every dayI know that this is going to completely destroy what little credibility this blog has managed to scrape together, but, I'm sorry, it had to be done: Voice mail messages you probably hope you'll never receive:
Hi, it's me, and I really want to discuss whether Josh Beckett looks like Chris Kirkpatrick on the cover of the new Improper Bostonian, so, uh, call me back.
For those of you who didn't spend the mid-nineties, uh, in high school, Chris Kirkpatrick was the elder statesman figure in the boyband-recently-turned-closet-door *NSYNC. Pick up a copy of this fine publication (personally, when you get that far down on the free weekly food chain, I prefer Barstool Sports) if you can, on the inside, he's striking a similarly pop star-like pose and wearing mandals! The article, in a shocking turn of events to no one, is completely useless. Unless you didn't know that Beckett is only 26. And, there. Now you know.
Some thoughts about tonight's game:
1. Dougie is (I think) batting .333 in his last three games. And, yes, I am grasping at such slim straws that I attempted to hastily calculate his last-three-games statistics myself, because nobody calculates "since the injury that dare not speak its name smited us" statistics.
2. Papelbon gets the win! I was looking up to see how long it's been since he last worked (Saturday) and realized that he only had six appearances in the entire month of July. And, yeah, I'm glad we're not using him as a one-size-fits-all Band-Aid, but am I the only one who's worried that he's not getting enough work? I mean, admittedly, I am biased. Be honest.