Wednesday, August 02, 2006

i pride myself in reaching new lows of heat-related delirium every day

I know that this is going to completely destroy what little credibility this blog has managed to scrape together, but, I'm sorry, it had to be done: Voice mail messages you probably hope you'll never receive:

Hi, it's me, and I really want to discuss whether Josh Beckett looks like Chris Kirkpatrick on the cover of the new Improper Bostonian, so, uh, call me back.



For those of you who didn't spend the mid-nineties, uh, in high school, Chris Kirkpatrick was the elder statesman figure in the boyband-recently-turned-closet-door *NSYNC. Pick up a copy of this fine publication (personally, when you get that far down on the free weekly food chain, I prefer Barstool Sports) if you can, on the inside, he's striking a similarly pop star-like pose and wearing mandals! The article, in a shocking turn of events to no one, is completely useless. Unless you didn't know that Beckett is only 26. And, there. Now you know.

Some thoughts about tonight's game:

1. Dougie is (I think) batting .333 in his last three games. And, yes, I am grasping at such slim straws that I attempted to hastily calculate his last-three-games statistics myself, because nobody calculates "since the injury that dare not speak its name smited us" statistics.

2. Papelbon gets the win! I was looking up to see how long it's been since he last worked (Saturday) and realized that he only had six appearances in the entire month of July. And, yeah, I'm glad we're not using him as a one-size-fits-all Band-Aid, but am I the only one who's worried that he's not getting enough work? I mean, admittedly, I am biased. Be honest.

3. LORETTTTTTTAH.

16 Comments:

At 12:36 AM, Blogger Nut said...

I have found that if you whip that magazine out of your purse at a moment's notice, it really lightens the mood.

 
At 9:11 AM, Blogger Kristen said...

Nut is correct. As I spent the past few days curled up in a fetal position on the couch and taking nourishment only in juice form and mixed with alcohol, she would suddenly yank that magazine out of her bag, and I will find it impossible to remain stone-faced and pissed off. Because, seriously? Everything we ever said about Josh Beckett is true. The polo shirts, the DMB downloads, the hemp necklaces? All of it, all true.

 
At 9:35 AM, Blogger always thinking about papelbon said...

personally, i'm enjoying the sudden surprise of seeing it peering at me from the street when i least expect it. it's like, blah blah oh my god heatstroke blah blah i want to kill tourists blah blah hey there extremely fey looking josh beckett! been to any DMB concerts in those sandals recently?

 
At 9:57 AM, Blogger Kristen said...

I am just glad his collar isn't popped. But I give credit for that to the stylist. Because you just KNOW homeboy thinks the popped collar is a smart look.

 
At 9:31 PM, Blogger Katiee said...

being in high school I have the luck of seeing half the people i see each day with popped collars. I usually want to strangle them

 
At 10:24 AM, Anonymous Flagsgirl said...

What is it with you guys and Beckett? I doubt a man who owns that many guns would appreciate being compared to some NSYNC pussy.

 
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At 12:54 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

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At 7:51 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

He looks more like Scott Peterson, that guy who killed his wife.

 
At 2:32 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Personally I think that josh beckett looks like Jason Aldean

 
At 7:48 PM, Anonymous tzolkin9 said...

If you're at all curious what that white thingy pendant Josh is wearing, check out this site:
http://www.emf-health.com

It's apparently popular with golfers and athletes to help calm nerves during pressure cooker situations.

 
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