happy pitchers and catchers day!!1!!1!Lately I seem to oscillate exclusively between freezing to death and obsessively reading the news from Ft. Myers, which briefly warms the cockles of my icy heart. But then I venture back out into Ice Planet Hoth. But then I see pictures of baby crab-in-a-bucket Jon Lester. I'm starting to feel like that pint of ice cream in the back of your freezer, the one covered in an inch of freezer burn because you took it out and let it half-melt one too many times.
However, from the depths of the boston.com Extra Bases blog, Jonathan Papelbon's Duck Recipe:
Marinate the duck in Coke (yes, you read that correctly) and Italian dressing in a Ziploc bag. (Papelbon said the soda removes the game-y flavor from the duck.) Then slice the duck breast into four pieces. Wrap each of those in bacon, jalapeno peppers, and sour cream. And then, in his words, "throw it all on a grill, and it's amazing."
When I was in elementary school, my friends and I used to pile up scraps from our lunches, pour a juice box over it and mix it all up into a vomit-like concoction and then dare each other to eat it. That's what I imagine Pap's duck recipe tastes like.
But in even more disturbing news, what is that thing on Kevin Youkilis' face? I said many times last year that Kevin Youkilis reminded me of the book Under the Skin by Michael Faber. In the book, humans were kidnapped by aliens and bred like cattle, and the aliens fed them all these hormones that made all their body hair fall out and their skin turn bright pink, and I always thought Kevin Youkilis looked like an escapee from that breeding farm, but, God dammit! This is not a proportionate response!