Friday, June 29, 2007

i apologize for thinking that "kill mode" was in any way metaphorical

Dustin Pedroia Almost Died

Seriously, I can't even. The ninth inning of tonight's game was the best thing I've seen all week, and I'm not just saying that because most of what I saw this week consisted of digital thermometers reading 99 degrees, mile-high stacks of paper on my desk and the Red Sox getting swept in Seattle. YOU GUYS, DUSTIN PEDROIA ALMOST DIED.

In the event that you missed Dustin Pedroia's amazing near-death experience: With two outs in the ninth, Papelbon was covering first and Kenny Lofton may or may not have beaten him to the bag. Paps was voting "may not" and got up in the first base umpire's face and had the look of person who was either going to rip out someone's jugular with his teeth, get tossed out of the game or both. And then, there's Pedroia! Throwing himself in between Paps and the ump! Just thinking about it, I'm so overwhelmed with delight that I can't even pick the appropriate cliche, but anything involving a getting between a jungle predator and its hapless prey or A-Rod and a muscular she-male type stripper would probably be appropriate. Also, Pedroia has never looked more like he's probably 5'4" in cleats.

So Dustin Pedroia, American Hero, kept Paps from getting tossed and/or committing a homicide, Paps hit the next batter and took 3.67 years off my life but all's well that ends with getting Michael Young out on a called strike.


To: Kelly
From: Katie
Subject: my boyfriend ...

... is so zen:

"I don't even think about [last year]," Beckett said. "It was one of those deals where I had a lot of good things come out of last year. There's a great quote that says, 'You can't be afraid to fall. You just have to make sure you fall forward.' I don't remember who said it. In turn, it means when you fall, you have to make sure you learn from it. There ain't no one in here who hasn't fallen. This is a humbling game. Every one of us has fallen at one point in our life. We have to make sure we learn from it."

To: Katie
From: Kelly
Subject: RE: my boyfriend ...

I sort of expect that quote to trail off into him saying, "And, you know, I'm glad I didn't know, the way it all would end, the way it all would go. Our lives are better left to chance, I could have missed the pain, but I would have had to miss the dance."

Additionally, Filed Under 'Unacceptable'

Great, Matt Clement is in town. Allegedly, he's going to throw a bullpen season. I say he should just throw on an Amarak shirt and sell some peanuts or something, at least try and make himself useful.


At 12:00 AM, Blogger k said...

Garth Brooks is AWESOME. Who doesn't feel like they could have missed the DANCE???

At 12:52 PM, Blogger lucky number 33 said...

Ha! Man, I seriously thought that ump was gonna take a hit. Li'l Petey launched himself in there just in time. I hope somebody bought him a drink later.

I am trying to resist temptation to head down to Fenway and scalp tickets tonight. So tempting! So expensive! So Taguchi! Wait, no, not that last bit.


At 1:24 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL! Paps was on fire! And he seemed like such a nice boy.

Oy! I'm with you on Clement. Why can't he just GO AWAY? Impossible in my house -- we have the 2007 Red Sox calendar, and he's pictured for the month of July. We'll have to stare at his mug for a whole month! My 8 year old daughter asked who he was and the best I could muster was, "He's an injured pitcher, dear."

At 1:26 PM, Blogger Beth said...

words do not describe my delight at the garth brooks quote above.

At 3:14 PM, Blogger kelly said...

1. Caroline, I hadn't thought of it until you mentioned it, but now I'm like, "... and, GOD, it's just the most perfect day to be watching baseball EVER, and." God DAMMIT.

2. The most hilarious thing about the 2007 Red Sox calendar is the sheer number of players featured who don't play for us anymore/probably will never play for us again. Wasn't June Mark Loretta month?

At 12:49 PM, Anonymous Jen said...

Yes, June was Mark Loretta and July is Matt Clement. Now that we are in July, the center pages are being torn out and we will just have repeat of...Manny? Was he May? I forget just now.

At 8:18 PM, Blogger lucky number 33 said...

Well, it was a beautiful night at least...le sigh.


At 12:43 AM, Blogger Katiee said...

I have the calendar too and my Birthday's in July :-( but I'll be on vacation so I won't have to look at him for the whole month just a week
and yea there are atleast 3 players who aren't on the team anymore Trot and Gonzo are on there too
oh and I love that song

At 9:57 AM, Blogger Greta said...

Matt Clement? Even Tom Caron chooses to believe that guy is no longer employed by the Red Sox. Bullpen session? I'll believe it when I see it. He'll have a panic attack the moment he sees the Citgo sign and the hives will be too severe to pitch through.

At 12:44 AM, Blogger jared said...

On the fourth, I will be doing to things: Supportin the troops and supporting Pee Wee Pedroia, not necessarilly in that order.

Secondly, was you saying Clement will be throwing a "bullpen season" a Freudian slip or a joke? Either way, I enjoyed it.

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