Monday, August 13, 2007

tonight, the role of the stopper will be played by tim wakefield

YES:

1. TIMMMMEH.

2. Lugo? In the ... clutch?

3. Speaking of Lugo, I approve of his continued attempts to maim opposing pitchers with balls put into play. Remember when he broke Jeff Karstens' leg? That and the walk-off error on Mother's Day were the only two things that kept me from trying to have a hit put out on him the first three months of the season.

4. Papelbon pitches a near instructional video styled 9th, effectively saying, "That is how it is motherfucking done in this motherfucking house, Gagne. Now do you think you can find your supposedly filthy stuff or do you need both hands and a flashlight?"

NO:

1. I am generally supportive of Tito Francona. You wanna bat JD Drew in the lead-off spot? Fine. You show your confidence in tight spots by wanna rock and forth like Rain Man? Great. You wanna marry Javier Lopez? Sure. BUT WHY MUST YOU CONTINUE TO PLAY ALEX CORA, ERIC HINSKE AND DOUG MIRABELLI ON THE SAME NIGHT? Since July 1, Dazzler's manservant has made nine starts. In four of those games, both Cora and Hinske have also been in the starting lineup. For a team that's been sort of, uh, offensively bulimic, is it really a good idea to effectively wave a white flag with your lineup card? Seriously?

2. Baltimore runs out of come-from-behind gas, allowing a walk-off performance from Captain Intangibles. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. Must have been the lingering scent of oakmoss and chilled grapefruit.

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