Saturday, June 07, 2008

some notes from the FOX Saturday afternoon game circle of hell

& I fucking hate Richie Sexton. Primarily because he attempted to kill my beloved Typo, but also because he's a human freak show. Everybody knows he's tall, but have you ever noticed that all his height is in his torso? I was walking him walk back to the dugout after he struck out swinging in the second, and I noticed that the distance between the bottom of his numbers and his waistband is about twice as long as everyone else on his team. Human freak show.

& The only thing more fantastic than Manny hitting a homerun into the deepest reaches of the parking garage is the fact that he's wearing one #24 and one #34 wristband today. Manny, you magnificent bastard.

& Of all the solutions that people suggested as a stop-gap during Papi's injury -- greater emphasis on small ball, Chris Carter, players like JD Drew stepping up their offensive production, Barry Bonds -- I would have predicted that Barry Bonds would be getting his XXXL size neck fitted for a Red Sox jersey before I would have predicted JD Drew going on a scorching hot streak. I'm seriously not kidding.

& Announcers confused that fans are chanting "BEAT LA!" when there is still the remainder of this game and tomorrow afternoon's game between now and Game 2 for the Celtics. Apparently they are unaware that Bostonians have been starting random "BEAT LA!" chants every day for the last eight days, at Red Sox games, on the MBTA, in the liquor store, etcetera. I started a "BEAT LA!" chant with myself in the shower on Thursday morning.

& Dear Youk: The best way to ensure that you don't go back to the dugout and slam the equipment around in frustration? Hit scorching doubles. See how much fun that is? It's a shame that Remy and Don-O aren't calling this game. With an 11-2 lead, they'd probably be giving themselves giggle fits role playing a Sox Appeal date, doing play-by-play of their Tic Tac Toe game or some other ludicrous nonsense.

& I know that the save statistic is a ridiculous and artificial statistic, but why does Papelbon always seem to give up garbage runs when pitching with a greater than three run lead? It makes me think there might be something to clutch situations. Fire Joe Morgan is going to take away my Blogger account.

& 9th inning blip notwithstanding, excellent win. Anytime you can put up 11 runs with five regulars out of the line-up is a day for puppies and ice cream.

8 Comments:

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