Wednesday, October 25, 2006

also, we think the jeter figurine in the pm's bamboo plant gave the plant a disease or something

From: Kelly
Sent: Wednesday, October 25, 2006 11:48 AM
To: Katie Subject: thank GOD.

I really didn't want Papelbon to have to return to the rotation the product of a broken home.

From: Katie
Sent: Wednesday, October 25, 2006 11:53 AM
To: Kelly Subject: RE: thank GOD.

Dude, blog! Remember that thing we have?

From: Kelly
Sent: Wednesday, October 25, 2006 11:55 AM
To: KatieSubject: RE: thank GOD.

I was counting on you to say something funny in your reply e-mail so I could post.

From: Katie
Sent: Wednesday, October 25, 2006 12:00 PM
To: Kelly
Subject: RE: thank GOD.

Tek Rehabilitation Diary, Day 80: Thank god. I really don't want to see what happens when I let Crazy Curt turn a hose on anyone.


At this point, the conversation veered off in the direction of a discussion of rectal microbicides (don't ask, it's better this way). But, hey, last night I tried to go to a concert at TT the Bear's that got cancelled because the band was deported, so I ended up watching the last three innings of the Tigers/Cardinals game at the Middle East, and when I told the bartender that I disliked all the lauding being given to Jeff Supan because he was just another sub-par American League pitcher who inflated his stats by crossing over to the National League, he said, "Wow, you don't hear too many girls who know that much about baseball. I totally followed everything you just said." Times like those, I really wish I had Timlin and Tek to follow me around with the hose. Fortunately, I'll have them together for at least one more year. Otherwise I'm just going to have to start breaking beer bottles over peoples' heads.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

xoxo, cornroyyo

"(Schilling) said a couple of years ago I would never pitch 230 innings with this body," Arroyo said. "So I sent him a note with a picture of me standing with nothing on but a (sock)."

This article from the Eagle-Tribune showed up on my Papelbon-related Google news trolling because there's some business at the end about Papelbon's process of converting to a starter, but the car wreck-like image of Arroyo doing his Red Hot Chili Pepper impression leads me to wonder:

1. What's the over/under that he has some totally hideous and unfortunately located tattoo?
2. Because I'm thinking the animal that's representative of his astrological sign, on his pelvic bone.
3. Was the photo taken straight on, or was he striking a pin-up girl pose?
4. Maybe a Rockette high kick?
5. Who took the picture?

So many questions, so many applications of bleach to get the image out of my mind.

In other news, it's been a busy week in Yankee hate. Watching A-Rod go 1 for 14 in the series (a batting average that requires a zero for the first digit) was satisfying in ways that can't be textually rendered and it was nice to have confirmed what i have long suspected: my hate for the Yankees is more pure than my love for most things. Hang ten this routine first round elimination, Derek Jeter.

Monday, October 02, 2006

more fun than a mean game of scrabble

One thing about being eliminated from play-off contention is that you could be absolutely sure which game would be the last game the Red Sox would play in 2006. And the PM and I decided that we'd like to go, so we bought some bleacher seats from a guy on Craigslist for less face, and we waited out the three and a half hour rain delay under the grandstand, and right before the ushers came out, we slipped down to a pair of wet but empty seats six rows behind home plate.

So, not a bad way to watch five innings of baseball in October. I guess there's a metaphor there about the season and the called game and what have you, but I'm just glad we saw Trot's tip of the cap at his first at-bat, and, in lieu of one last home run from Big Papi, homers from Lowell, Loretta and Hinske, and Hackey sack Hansack's don't call it a no-hitter.

On the T on the way home, even the stumbling, bumbling, shouting and grunting suburbanites who would have had me homicidal with rage a couple months ago just made me feel nostalgic. So when do pitchers and catchers report again?

Returning once again to the mission statement, some Papelnews:

Theo pretty much definitively says that Papelbon will start next year

And if that's what it takes to baby that shoulder, I'm all for it. If he needs to eat babies to keep the shoulder in shape, that's fine too. My first-born, you say? Let me just wrap it up for him, I'll send it over.

Papelbon threw to live batters on Sunday

My favorite part is that one of his live batters was Ken Huckaby. "Uh, Ken, there's not a snowball's chance in hell that we're letting you anywhere near the plate during a game, but you wanna try and hit off Papelbon in an imaginary inning? Sound good?" Paps also promises that next year is going to be "no-holds-barred." Someone hand me my smelling salts.

Jeremy wins the Papelbon Papel-Bet

And he won by twelve hundredths of a point! The consensus seems to be that they were little twin badasses A this year, and I am fine with having the loser in our farm system, with his whopping 1.86 ERA.