Wednesday, September 05, 2007

still worked on that 32K/9

Tina Cervasio: Jonathan, for the first time this season, you pitched in three straight games. How did you and Terry Francona and John [Farrell], how did you come to that decision?
Jonathan Papelbon: Uh, a lot of begging by me, I tell you what.


APRIL 20, 2007
Pap: Tito, my man! It's Sox/Yankees, man! This is the stuff that gets your blood boilin' and your heart poundin' and you just wanna, you know, it just makes you wanna--
Pap: [starts spontaneously fist-pumping]
Tito: Sit down.
Pap: C'mon!
Tito: You pitched yesterday, you pitched two days ago. You know the rules. We talked about this. Besides, it's freakin' April.
Pap: ... C'mon.
Pap: [makes world's saddest little fist pump]

MAY 27, 2007
Pap: So, hey, I was thinking--
Tito: No.
Pap: But--
Tito: Do you want to end up like Mike Timlin? Do you want to start every season on the DL?
Pap: Dude, that guy's scary.

JUNE 4, 2007
Pap: Tito, listen, I can't do this. It's not me. It's not who I am. I can't sit here and not get into games when I need to get into games. It's like trying to keep a lion in a cage, or make a kid color inside the lines or make Manny wear pants that aren't six sizes too big.
Tito: You can't pitch three games in a row this early in the season.
Pap: So ... you're saying ... later in the season?
Tito: Well.
Pap: C'mon!
Tito: September 1st. Depending how the season goes, on September 1st, we'll talk.
Pap: [fist pumps]

JULY 5, 2007
Pap: Okay, so, I was thinking. I know Jonathan Papelbon pitched last night, and I know Jonathan Papelbon pitched two nights ago, but what if Cinco-Ocho pitched tonight?
Tito: Get out of my office.
Pap: You let Oki pitch whenever he wants!
Tito: Yeah, but throwing so many pitches you think your arm is gonna fall off is like a sport for them or something.
Pap: Man, Oki is so awesome!
Pap: [fist pumps]

Pap: Hey Tito, guess what today is?
Tito: The day you finally let me have my mid-afternoon nap?
Pap: It's September 1st, it's September 1st, it's September 1st!
Tito: Oh, I forgot about that.
Pap: So I'm available tonight? Seventh inning, right? You need me to get nine outs? I'm your dude, right?
Tito: You pitched last night, but before that you hadn't pitched since the 26th of August, of course you're available.
Pap: Yeah, but, what if I went back in time and pitched two days ago, too, then would I still be available?
Tito: [blank stare]
Pap: Well, would I?
Tito: Yes, I suppose that if you went back in time and pitched on Thursday night, you'd still be available tonight. If we need to go to the bullpen tonight, I suppose you're available.
Clay Buchholz: [throws a complete game no-hitter]
Pap: C'mon!


At 9:03 AM, Anonymous Amy said...

That? Is exactly what happened. I'm quite sure of it.

At 9:11 AM, Blogger riggs said...

Absolutely brilliant.

At 12:57 PM, Blogger Samer said...

Pap: [makes world's saddest little fist pump]

The funny thing is . . . I can actually see all of this happening. :)


At 1:31 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

That interview last night was fabulous. I need a t-shirt that has his picture on the front and "I tell you what..." on the back

At 2:48 PM, Blogger k said...

For serious, I tried making the world's saddest little fist pump here at home and it was only sad, not sad enough.

I tell you what.

At 3:14 PM, Blogger Luna said...


At 3:57 PM, Blogger kelly said...

In my mind, the world's saddest little fist pump looks like a wilted flower, and goes limp halfway through. But I strongly invite everyone else to submit photographic evidence of their own attempts.

At 4:39 PM, Blogger Scott said...

Very funny stuff - love the spontaneous fist pumping. I have to confess that I do that myself sometimes.

At 9:51 PM, Blogger Stacey said...

Haha, fantastic. And yes, the world's saddest little fist pump is the image that sticks with me as well.

Also - the part where Paps reminds Tito "It's September 1st" about six times. Like it's Christmas or something. :)

At 11:15 PM, Blogger jared said...

Couldn't find saddest fist pump photographic evidnece, but he's video reenactment of Pap's "C'Mon!" response to Clauy's no-no.

At 12:26 PM, Blogger Beth said...

shut down the internet. seriously. this is the best post ever.

At 1:40 PM, Blogger Texas Gal said...

This is pure genius.

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