Wednesday, May 09, 2007

he was wheeling and dealing

I am SICK of the Blue Jays, man. Why have we already played them 100 times? Why won't Frank Thomas leave me alone? Dude. Which is not to say I don't enjoy pummeling them in a delightful fashion in order to keep Josh Beckett's streak alive.

5/8702.517.0051115Oh but tonight we're dancing in the fate light

So Kelly has taken to referring to Josh Beckett exclusively as my boyfriend. And maybe I did just spend a few minutes figuring out that if all continues as expected, Beckett should be pitching the next game I'm attending. And it's possible that CSPAN and I have had to delay our usual television programming so I could watch the Beckett post-game press conference more than once. But, what can I say? He's perfect. Still! In May.

Look, I know, I probably look like a bandwagon-jumper after calling him a pansy-ass all last season, but seriously, who wouldn't jump on a 7-0, 2.51 ERA bandwagon of awesome that smells vaguely of patchouli and pot and makes stops at all local college parties? I'm not even trying to resist that -- it's a force of nature.

Also, he goes around saying shit like this about the Captain:

"Tek's a good hitter. A lot of times, being a catcher is his biggest downfall. He's concentrating on me, Daisuke [Matsuzaka], Schill [Curt Schilling], everybody in the rotation, everyone in the bullpen except [Tim] Wakefield. If he were a DH and didn't have to worry about all the paperwork that goes along with being the best catcher in the game, he'd probably hit .315." (from

That's right, on JBeck's fantasy baseball team, Tek's the DH. Sweet.

In the other
Globe article about last night, it seemed like they weren't going to remind us that Beckett's a pitcher now, not a thrower, but thank god, Cardafo worked it in just before the end. It might have been his job on the line otherwise. I wonder if the paper's trademarked that phrase or something?

To, reluctantly, turn the topic away from my boyfriend, please be sure to check out the picture gracing the front of the
Sox page today before they change it. I'm pretty sure the SeaMonkey is incapable of lifting Papi off the ground, so I'm taking that picture as further evidence that Pedroia is the smallest person ever. Papi could crush him without even noticing!


At 8:52 PM, Blogger jared said...

That photo reminds me of the time I met Paul Bunyan and tried to give him a hug....when I was my former life as a midget....on a ladder.

At 9:54 AM, Blogger Kristen said...

//I wonder if the paper's trademarked that phrase or something?//

Theo must get a kickback too since he said it twice on SportsDesk during the same interview.

And speaking of the SportsDesk interviews, is there a reason the man is always interviewed in front of a broken TV? In a broom closet? Surely they can do better than that. I'm thinking he should always be in one of those evil genius chairs, petting a hairless cat with a metal hand or something.

At 7:54 PM, Blogger Jefe said...

Rem Dawg tonight:

"And the Blue Jays doing things that really just make them look bad."

Awful. Enough BJs.

At 10:18 AM, Anonymous katie said...

Jeffrey, I was sick of them before the free fall and then these last three games were just DULL. I mean, I like to win, but COME ON. A little competition would be nice.

Kristen, you are totally right about the Theo interviews-- I have no idea why he's always in such wretched places. Maybe they're trying to save money in the publicity budget needed to deal with Schill's babbling by skimping on sets?

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