if you strike me down, i shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine
* On July 28, Jonathan Papelbon blew a save against the Devil Rays. I was at a bar, attending a going away party for one of my favorite people in the whole world but, because I am a bastard, still monitoring the game out of the corner of my eye, so it was a real struggle to be like "yeah, uh-huh, so when do you guys get the keys to the new apartment?" when what I was thinking was "GOD DAMMIT. FUCKING GOMES. WHAT IF THIS IS THE START OF A SECOND-HALF SLIDE? HOW WILL I FUNCTION? AM I TO DIE IN MY BED?" Fortunately for me (and everyone who has to come in contact with me), Paps appears to have taken this performance to heart. Since July 28, he has pitched 14 and 2/3 innings, during which he has allowed one hit, zero runs, struck out 24 and walked four. Also, he would like to remind you that he is still a fucking Jedi, okay? (See above.)
Continued Conversations with Pap & Tito: September 6, 2007:
Pap: Tito, did you see me tonight? Fourth appearance in five days and I was still gas, man.
Pap: [fist pump x 4]
Pap: If there'd been a double header today, I totally could've pitched both games, right?
Tito: But we didn't have a double header today.
Pap: Yeah, but, I'm just saying--
Tito: Jesus Christ.
Pap: C'mon! Apparently I gotta raise my VORP by 6.4 points if I wanna be the most statistically dominant closer in baseball.
Tito: Do you even understand what you just said?
Pap: Not a clue.
Pap: [fist pumps]
* Clay Buchholtz wants you to know that he will be fetching all of Tim Wakefield's wins for him for the time being. Wake is totally cool with this, by the way, he is going to use the extra time off to help Dougie develop a strength and conditioning routine that is slightly more exhaustive than "pick up chicken parm, deliver to mouth, repeat."
* As Katie mentioned in the previous post, we are taking the Papel-blogging, NDRaPRSFftEMRSoML-supporting, all-singing, all-dancing, all-Miller-High-Life-drinking show on the road this weekend and taking in our first game at Fenway South on Sunday afternoon. Hopefully things will work out better than when we saw a game on my birthday last year.