Tuesday, November 13, 2007


Dear Josh Beckett,

Here is my Cy Young award. Perhaps with more run support, I too would have won 20 games. Perhaps if your bullpen had been terrible, you too would have pitched more innings. Who really knows?

But what I know for sure is that, either way, I still would have fallen apart in the post-season, because you are a terrifying force of nature. I suspect that this award will go nicely with the collection of Bud Light cans you like to shoot in your back yard between hunting seasons.

Thank you for not actually removing my manhood,



Don't worry about it—I think we both know that individual achievements mean nothing, right? Winning that award would just mean more press conferences, stupid questions, and retarded metaphors.

Thanks for your little trophy, though—I've sent it to my catcher, Jason Varitek, since he's really the reason I did so well this season. It's shiny, so his kids'll probably like it.

Let me know if you ever want to get drunk, shoot something, and talk about executing pitches.



At 7:23 PM, Anonymous shell said...


I hope C.C.'s manhood and award are packed and on their way as we speak.

This has to be the worst regular season screw up since Dirk "I wilt in the post-season to the tune of Hasselhoff's greatest hits" Nowitzki won the MVP last year.

Sickening and yet perfect somehow. I can almost hear Beckett snarl, "Who the &^%$ cares about individual &^%$-ing awards?"

I'm going to miss your Red Sox blogs. Why does the season have to end? Bah! Oh the humanity!

At 9:51 PM, Blogger Bloody P said...

Best post ever.

Nice work.

At 10:20 PM, Blogger lucky number 33 said...

I thought it was the correct call, actually, to give the award to Sabathia. I don't think Beckett is crying in his bowl of Wheaties from the box with his face on it.

He might greet Sabathia next season with a be-ringed handshake, though.

At 10:21 AM, Blogger kelly said...

No, I agree, there is a very strong case that based on regular season performance, CC was the correct call. But Joe Posnanski wrote a really interesting post (and you can't html code links in blogger comments, so, here: http://joeposnanski.com/JoeBlog/2007/10/05/an-uneasy-cy/) that gave the nod to Beckett based on toughness of opponents and park factors that pointed out some things I hadn't thought about. Mostly, though, CC getting the award based on their post season performances is just really ... funny.

At 12:16 AM, Blogger Melissa said...

Add a few f-bombs into Beckett's reply and I bet that's *exactly* what he said.

At 10:14 AM, Blogger D said...

This post is SO f'ing hilarious!!!!! A pure unadulterated look into the minds of major league pitching. Simple results and doesn't take much to amuse them. Couple of beers, couple of trophies, and a pissing contest. Awesome!

At 11:46 PM, Blogger MarchingTwinkie3 said...

As awesome as this post already is I would love to see Varitek's reaction when he opens a package from Beckett to find Sabathia's Cy Young Award. And the accompanying note from Beckett.

Or even better, no note and Tek trying figure out how Beckett got a hold of it.

At 11:53 AM, Anonymous katie said...

melissa, you're totally right-- I realized immediately after I posted that there wasn't a single "fuck" in there. clearly, I had a momentary lapse. But I'm sure you all knew where to insert them.

At 5:32 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hmm.. I've thought about this very much..... and I agree with you to some degree.

At 4:45 AM, Blogger oakleyses said...

prada outlet, louis vuitton, polo ralph lauren, burberry outlet online, louis vuitton outlet online, red bottom shoes, nike free, nike shoes, nike air max, tiffany jewelry, gucci handbags, michael kors outlet online, air max pas cher, jordan shoes, coach outlet store online, true religion outlet, ray ban outlet, kate spade handbags, michael kors outlet store, chanel handbags, michael kors outlet online, burberry outlet online, coach outlet, kate spade outlet online, coach purses, louboutin shoes, longchamp handbags, michael kors outlet, longchamp outlet, tiffany and co jewelry, longchamp outlet online, louis vuitton outlet, coach outlet, louis vuitton handbags, michael kors outlet online, michael kors outlet online, nike air max, nike air max, louis vuitton outlet, true religion outlet, christian louboutin shoes, polo ralph lauren outlet, tory burch outlet, christian louboutin outlet, true religion, prada handbags

At 4:46 AM, Blogger oakleyses said...

chaussure louboutin, sac michael kors, ralph lauren, mulberry, michael kors canada, tn pas cher, michael kors uk, lacoste pas cher, nike trainers, hollister, longchamp, sac vanessa bruno, new balance pas cher, vans pas cher, sac louis vuitton, nike free, converse pas cher, louis vuitton, north face pas cher, ray ban uk, nike air force, burberry pas cher, hollister, nike roshe, oakley pas cher, abercrombie and fitch, louis vuitton uk, guess pas cher, nike huarache, hollister, scarpe hogan, timberland, ray ban pas cher, mac cosmetics, louis vuitton pas cher, ralph lauren pas cher, nike blazer pas cher, nike roshe run, north face, roshe run, longchamp pas cher, vans outlet, air max, barbour, lululemon, longchamp, nike air max, hermes pas cher

At 4:47 AM, Blogger oakleyses said...

north face outlet, nfl jerseys, marc jacobs outlet, abercrombie and fitch, soccer shoes, ghd, ferragamo shoes, canada goose outlet, canada goose outlet, chi flat iron, jimmy choo shoes, insanity workout, ugg, valentino shoes, canada goose pas cher, uggs on sale, north face jackets, herve leger, moncler, reebok shoes, asics shoes, baseball bats, ugg soldes, moncler, rolex watches, canada goose uk, moncler, mcm handbags, uggs outlet, birkin bag, babyliss pro, iphone 6 case, new balance outlet, celine handbags, lululemon outlet, wedding dresses, soccer jerseys, p90x workout, canada goose outlet, ugg boots, giuseppe zanotti, instyler ionic styler, beats headphones, canada goose, moncler outlet, mont blanc pens, bottega veneta, nike air max, ugg outlet, hollister clothing

At 3:21 PM, Blogger داليا said...


At 1:57 AM, Blogger Mie Helal said...

I definitely appreciate this site

At 1:48 PM, Blogger omar ali said...

Thanks for supplying this info


Post a Comment

<< Home