Wednesday, October 24, 2007

buck and mccarver's reign of terror continues

kelly: remember when we watched opening day and I said I didn't know about this season?
katie: um. remember when we watched a random game three weeks ago and you said you didn't know about this season?
kelly: oh. yeah.

Another Game 1, more Highlife, more blogging. Here we go.

1. TC says: There's only one October, haven't you heard?
Heh. Oh, TC.

2. Please to note, I hate Jeanne Zelasky (or however you spell it), but for real, Eric Byrnes clearly has NO self-respect. She got off like 5 insults about him. And the "I don't want to get booed out of another city" comment? Seriously, Byrnes, grow a pair and maybe your team wouldn't get swept in the NLCS.

3. kelly doesn't want you to know this, but she and Buck and McCarver actually have all the same opinions. It's terrifying to witness this, but completely true.

4. "Hi, Colorado. Just in case you had forgotten over the last 8 days, that's what live pitching looks like. And just in case you weren't sure, I, Josh Beckett, would like to let you know that I am going to kick your ass."

4a. Text rec'd from katie's brother: "My name is Josh Beckett. You killed my father. Prepared to die." Indeed.

5. "Hi, hi, hi Colorado! I'm Dustin-- no, down here! I'm Dustin Pedroia and I too am going to kick your ass."

6. Why does the font they're using look like they're a trophy company from Worcester? Is this NESN?

7. kelly: Where was the infield on that play?
katie: Oh, they're still off. They wanted a 9th day. You know, they had all those inter-squad games; they're very tired.

8. kelly: It's raining harder now. That makes me nervous.
katie: Is there anything that doesn't make you nervous?
kelly: That homerun didn't make me nervous. ...Actually, it did. Because now the streak is on the line.
katie: So the answer is no?
kelly: Yeah.

9. I'm sorry, Joe Buck, but it wasn't a "blister situation," it was an avulsion. But, I suppose you don't remember these kinds of things if they're not sponsored by MasterCard.

10. "Hi Colorado, I'm Kevin Youkilis and I am VERY speedy, okay? You make sure and let Dustin Pedroia know just how speedy I am."

11. Fox airs Beckett songvid to "This Is Why I'm Hot" without realizing they are airing footage directly from katie's brain.

12. Buck: Julio Lugo shows Yorvit To-re-yaba [or whatever] [ed note: katie doesn't like the national league, she doesn't know their names, and she doesn't care to learn. it's like how you shouldn't name that "pet" turkey your family buys three weeks before Thanksgiving] what he can do.
kelly: He does not. As much as it pains me to admit it, Julio Lugo can't do anything that the Rockies' shortstop can do. Let's watch a highlight video of Julio Lugo this season--
katie: Let's not.
kelly: Julio Lugo blows Schilling's perfect game! Julio Lugo sucks! Julio Lugo fails to turn more double plays than I can count! Julio Lugo fails to catch a routine pop-up in Game 7 of the ALCS! Etcet, etcet, etcet.

13. It's probably wrong to say this, but. We're a little bored. We're pretty sure Matt Cassell is going to come in to pitch the 6th.

14. Okay, that was a pretty clever promo tag by Fox-- the "Audition for the Next Great American Band" under the Sox Bullpen Percussion Orchestra.

15. Balk + walked in run = BEST EVER!

16. Are the two Manning fans in that Dick's ad having a rivalry about which one of them is more of a jack-ass?

17. Coco Crisp explains the Taco Bell promo to Royce Clayton = BEST SOUNDS OF THE GAME EVER. Can we just listen to them talk for the rest of the game? I'm sure Joe and Tim would appreciate the time off.

18. I'm pretty sure that showing the Buckner ball is not a GIFT of any kind. I mean, I know we all forgave Buckner against his will in 2004, but still. STILL. Though, I suppose that's the kind of gift you get from a crappy Vince Vaughn holiday movie.

19. Is there ANYTHING that Joe Buck won't sell? Seriously, it makes me feel dirty.

20. Apparently the Joe and Tim show has never seen a blown bullpen. I get that they think it's better to rest him, but Beckett's pitch count is low and, in case you don't recall, Schill and DiceK generally pitch a combined 8 innings, so perhaps Tito's decision to keep Beckett in and save the bullpen isn't as questionable as all that? Perhaps?

21. Text message from cspan: "How is it only the top of the 7th? Completely unrelated, what's the definition of 'mercy kill'? Again, UNRELATED question."

22. I know McCarver's in love with Jeets and all, but "BREATHTAKING FRAGRANCE?!" For real, Tim? That's just gross.

23. Oh, wait, I get it now. It's the part of the game where Tim starts babbling incoherently. Good to know. I would feel bad for Joe Buck for having to sit there and listen if he weren't, you know, Joe Buck, mistress of Satan.

24. Oh Gagne. It's good to know we have someone to count on as long as we're up by 10+ runs. Merci!

25. And in conclusion, Josh Beckett, metaphor for awesome.


At 1:12 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

the beckett press conference was pure gold tonight...i recall hearing execute at least 5 times, a terrible henley thermal, and a whole bunch of eye rolling...too bad he left out the cursing...oh well, there's always next time!

At 1:14 AM, Blogger jared said...

In case anyone forgot...October is the month when Josh Beckett steals your lunch money and bangs your sister (and you're perfectly fine with fact, you look forward to and embrace it.)

And FYI...All snow bunny co-eds in Denver should just start lining up now. Josh has pitched his last game of the season and will need something to do in you rectangular state while his apprentice Jon Lester closes out the Series.

At 1:28 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I had it worse then all of you. Stuck at work and had to listen to the FOX boredcast on the radio! I didn't even have the leisure of turning down the sound! Talking about the "most beautiful blimp in the sky" WTF???

Keep up the good work, girls! You two rock.

Steff in Ft. Worth

At 5:24 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love reading your commentary after games - awesome stuff

At 5:46 AM, Anonymous shell said...

Beckett really does need to be cloned. Besides all the pitching his clones could do, the rest could be available to all the women out there who suddenly want to marry him and have 10,000 of his babies.

At 9:47 AM, Blogger Kristen said...

Beckett really hates that there's no re-insertion rule in MLB (and I don't mean that in a dirty way). Because, like Brady, he'd very much like the chance to come in and clean up whatever messes his backups create. I mean, not that they did, but in that event.

I'm babbling.

Hooray baseball!

At 10:35 AM, Blogger tim j said...

re: the font looking like a Worcester trophy company

agreed -- these in-between Fox montages look like someone's 9th grade Video Production class project, cheesy effects and all. WTF?

after seeing Beckett strike out the side, I couldn't help but think that he was just going to get the beer vendor onto the field to take care of his defense while he took care of the Rockies. Every error in this series should be -- "CAUGHT WITH A COORS!"

At 11:28 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"I ain't got my taco!"

At 11:30 PM, Blogger tim j said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

At 12:16 AM, Blogger tim j said...

Woo! Jacoby wins us all a free taco! Royce Clayton needs to just be miked in every dugout every night.

did I say Bryce Clayton? Is Bryce even a name? Too much Jack!

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