Saturday, August 19, 2006

papelbon might not even be on the team anymore at this point

I'm afraid of my doorbell now. No, see, everytime it rings, I have a panic attack because I'm afraid that Julian Tavarez, full-time busdriver, part-time Sox reliever will be standing there. I'll open the door, eyes squinted half-shut and there it'll be-- Tavarez's I'm-definitely-a-Stephen-King-villian face staring back at me, ready to collect. Because when he came in last night we were talking about how I would sleep with Robinson Cano if I had to sleep with a Yankee at gunpoint. And I noted that I would not sleep with the Bus Driver at gunpoint. But then. Then I said, "actually, if you can just get us through three clean innings, dude, I'd sleep with you sans gun." Kelly added that she would too.

And then. He did it. So now I'm spending my days worried that he might show up to collect the blood debt. Because maybe he doesn't get a lot of offers. Maybe it'll get back to him. Frankly, I wouldn't put it past the PM to send him an email with my address in it. So if you're looking for me, be sure to call first because I won't be answering the door for a while.


As you may have noticed, yesterday's post was a "Part I." Well, after that game, we couldn't deal with a Part II. So here's the highlights version:

On Crab being taken out after 3 2/3 innings of work: "But I DON'T WANNA go to sleep. I'm NOT tired...No, I don't LIKE my Spidey 'jamas anymore. I WANNA PITCH! Daddy Tek woulda let me stay out and play."

The way Jeter hops from one side of the plate to the other when he doesn't hit the ball makes it IMPOSSIBLE not to look at his butt. And after having to see his butt many, many times yesterday-- I think the guy's had a butt lift. And I sort of think that when he's in the clubhouse he wanders around without his towel and everyone hates it, but they tolerate it because, you know, Jeets, but they totally turn to each other behind his back and mouth "I paid A LOT of money for this ASS and I will SHOW IT OFF if I want to."

During the Hansen inning of death, we noticed how silly Dougie looks while calling pitches-- I don't think Tek ever looks quite that way. It was ultimately decided that while everyone thinks he's calling pitches, what he's mostly doing is singing "The Macarena" (and no, I don't feel bad for getting that in your heads, so don't bother asking).

To sum up, any night you can say that Julian Tavarez was the best pitcher on the team, that's the kind of night you have to consider just maybe packing it all in.


Today's not shaping up so well, but at least I got to hear the five most beautiful words in the English language: Rudy Seanez designated for assignment.


At 7:31 PM, Blogger oakleyses said...

chanel handbags, burberry outlet online, christian louboutin outlet, nike air max, oakley vault, tiffany and co jewelry, michael kors outlet online, michael kors handbags, burberry outlet online, ray ban sunglasses, michael kors outlet store, prada handbags, oakley sunglasses, kate spade outlet, christian louboutin shoes, michael kors outlet, longchamp handbags, christian louboutin, coach outlet store online, true religion outlet, louis vuitton outlet, longchamp outlet online, nike free, true religion, polo ralph lauren outlet, gucci handbags, louis vuitton handbags, coach outlet, louis vuitton outlet, prada outlet, nike air max, jordan shoes, nike outlet, polo ralph lauren, louis vuitton, longchamp outlet, red bottom shoes, tory burch outlet online, kate spade outlet online, michael kors outlet online, coach purses, ray ban outlet, michael kors outlet online, coach outlet, tiffany jewelry, cheap oakley sunglasses, louis vuitton outlet online

At 7:33 PM, Blogger oakleyses said...

true religion jeans, burberry pas cher, sac louis vuitton, scarpe hogan, ralph lauren pas cher, lacoste pas cher, true religion outlet, north face, chaussure louboutin, tn pas cher, north face pas cher, new balance pas cher, hollister, abercrombie and fitch, oakley pas cher, longchamp pas cher, ray ban uk, mulberry uk, ray ban pas cher, nike free pas cher, air max pas cher, louis vuitton, nike blazer pas cher, nike air force, air jordan, guess pas cher, vans pas cher, nike roshe run, barbour, nike air max, hollister, nike air max, ralph lauren, hermes pas cher, lululemon, nike roshe, michael kors canada, michael kors uk, longchamp, louis vuitton uk, timberland, converse pas cher, louis vuitton pas cher, sac vanessa bruno, sac michael kors, nike free, air max

At 7:34 PM, Blogger oakleyses said...

vans outlet, ghd, soccer jerseys, chi flat iron, abercrombie and fitch, nike huarache, insanity workout, ugg, bottega veneta, valentino shoes, wedding dresses, ferragamo shoes, mac cosmetics, jimmy choo shoes, uggs outlet, north face jackets, nike trainers, canada goose outlet, nike roshe, celine handbags, longchamp, asics shoes, reebok shoes, new balance outlet, soccer shoes, herve leger, replica watches, ugg boots clearance, babyliss, canada goose outlet, birkin bag, uggs outlet, ugg soldes, canada goose, nfl jerseys, mont blanc pens, lululemon outlet, ugg boots, giuseppe zanotti, p90x workout, mcm handbags, ugg outlet, instyler ionic styler, canada goose outlet, marc jacobs outlet, beats headphones, uggs on sale, hollister, north face jackets

At 7:35 PM, Blogger oakleyses said...

pandora jewelry, swarovski jewelry, ray ban, timberland shoes, canada goose, pandora uk, hollister, ugg, uggs canada, nike air max, karen millen, toms outlet, moncler outlet, coach outlet, lancel, moncler, hollister clothing, juicy couture outlet, baseball bats, juicy couture outlet, pandora charms, moncler, louboutin, links of london uk, supra shoes, parajumpers outlet, wedding dress, air max, canada goose, replica watches, moncler outlet, converse shoes, canada goose pas cher, moncler, gucci, ralph lauren, moncler, montre femme, swarovski uk, oakley, louis vuitton canada, moncler, converse, thomas sabo uk, canada goose, hollister canada, iphone 6 case, vans


Post a Comment

<< Home