Monday, April 02, 2007

christmas in april

"I believe [Papelbon] would have been a very effective starter, but we know he has the rare psychological qualities of a dominant closer."
-- boston.com
Q & A with John Henry

Curious about what exactly the "rare psychological qualities" of a dominant closer are (maybe I can grow one on my basement!) I did some poking around Wikipedia and this is what I came up with:

1. Strong resemblance to
Simba in The Lion King.
2. Can take care of business with a
mohawk when necessary.
3. Enjoys the taste of raw duck flesh.
4. Subdues prey with
intimidating fist pump ritual.

So I guess we're good to go, then. Happy Opening Day, everybody!

11 Comments:

At 10:34 AM, Blogger ~**Dawn**~ said...

yippee! happy first day of Red Sox 2007!

 
At 1:04 PM, Blogger Mike said...

Please grow a 2B in your basement, we already have a closer.

I am projecting 87 saves for JP, giving him a slaughtered duck/save ratio of 50.597.
HALL OF FAME numbers...

 
At 1:06 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Love the new header - super pretty!

Gooooooooo Sox! (especially the ones I have on any of my three fantasy teams. And until such time as we near the end of the season and Gooooooo Sox and my Tigers loyalty can not co-exist.)

-k sandy

 
At 9:32 PM, Blogger kelly said...

Mike -- I said to Katie tonight, when we were watching the game, that it seems like someone grew our 2B in in their basement. Out of sea monkeys. And took him out before he was fully cooked. So now we shall call him ... sea monkey!

 
At 8:41 PM, Blogger Jared said...

Be easy on Dusty...he's just a wee lad.

If my math is correct, Papelboner's slaughtered duck/save ratio is currently 2nd all time to only -- of course -- Catfish Hunter.

I have a hard time believing Paps actually said this: "Doubt is part of the human element." Seriously, Jackie, stop making up quotes before the Globe has another scandal.

 
At 10:26 PM, Blogger kelly said...

Jared -- In Paps' Improper interview, he says, re: whether he knows any Japanese, "I’m not sure it’s a good idea to start learning another language when I barely know English." So Jackie has he work cut out for her, I guess?

 
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