Friday, May 25, 2007

some people just don't like to separate their toes

We watched the game on Wednesday in an effort to make our days better. Wow. That plan went way off course. Thanks, Schill! When the score hit 6-0, kelly said "we may as well talk about the Celtics." Which was just mean, because unless the next sentence is "Isn't it awesome how they fired their sorry excuse for a coach?" I'm not exactly interested in talking about the Celtics these days.

We actually bailed early and went to discuss important issues over ice cream. And by important issues, I mean kelly said "What would you trade Wily Mo for?" Results of this discussion summarized below.

    Top 5 Suitable Replacements for Wily Mo Pena as Our Fourth Outfielder

  1. An Easter basket we put out in right field. Would probably catch more fly balls, just on the basis of probability.

  2. Another one of those cute ball girls. Again, would probably be better on the relay.

  3. Some sort of robot that's programmed to just swing at everything. Like a pitching machine, but with a bat, you know?

  4. Coco is always taking weird routes to the ball anyway, maybe he could just play both positions.

  5. Matt Clement. I'm not saying he'd be any good at all (is actively scared of a ball in motion, whereas WMP just seems to be allergic to it) but at least he'd be earning his keep for a change, right?
Re: item 5, I would like to state for the record that unless he finds a way to bring me coffee from the outfield, Matt Clement is still not on my team. Though, I have changed my opinion on him somewhat-- instead of a bag of balls, I'm thinking maybe we should trade him for extra five-toed socks for the people who actually know how to pitch? [link courtesy the PM who actually reads The New York Times like a grown-up or something]


So, did you know that Tavarez calls Papelbon "Gasolina"? Because I did NOT and while I didn't realize it at the time, my life was clearly empty without this knowledge.

"We call him 'Gasolina,'" said Sox starter Julian Tavarez. "This guy goes six, seven days without pitching and then he goes out there and throws 95, 96 without walking anybody. No panic with Pap. Once the game gets to the ninth inning, it's over. That's how we see it with Jonathan." (from
here)


And now we can all feel more complete as we start our long weekends.

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