rooting for the red sox: it's like being in a clinical trial where you don't know you're being constantly taken on and off antidepressantsSitting on the couch at Katie's neighborhood bar on Sunday night, a beer in one hand, a grilled cheese sandwich with bacon and tomatoes in the other, watching the Patriots score their first touchdown out of one eye and the Red Sox score their first run out of the other, I thought, "Okay, this is it, I can die happy. This is total sporting nirvana."
Unfortunately, for true enlightenment to be reached, the Red Sox would have had to go on to win their game. Even a fairly mundane win would have been acceptable, they didn't need to produce the kind of definitive steal-your-lunch-money victory that the Patriots put up. But, like many people, I was able to be philosophical about the Red Sox hard-luck loss on Sunday night, probably because the pleasure center of my little sports fan lab rat brain had already been repeatedly pushed by Randy Moss.
Then the Red Sox lost the hangover game to the Blue Jays and the Yankees remembered that they know how to beat the Orioles, and I just -- I've hit the point in the season where I just want to know HOW IT'S GOING TO END. If I could, I would turn a fast-forward button on reality right now, and I don't care if Clay Buchholz throws three more no-hitters, if Big Papi hits a homerun so hard in the sixth inning that it circles the earth in time to produce a walk-off win in the ninth, if Papelbon gets bored with striking out batters and openly starts moose-hunting on the mound, if Manny ever starts playing again, if they call off the AL Rookie of the Year race and just give it to Dustin Pedroia in the top half of the third inning of an afternoon game against the Devil Rays, I would give up being able to see it all and go back and read the highlights on boston.com if I could just fast-forward to Wednesday, October 3 and find out which four American League teams are playing each other and in what match-ups. And maybe that makes me a bad fan of the game, but the GAME IS BAD TOUCHING ME RIGHT NOW.