Friday, April 13, 2007

jet lag

I'm back from Seattle, where you can walk into a bar a half-hour before game time and say, "Hey, are you going to show the Mariners game?" and get nothing but a blank stare from the waitress, and the free weekly publishes alternately snotty and lamenting articles on why the city is too cool to engage in such a pedestrian pass time as rooting for the home team.

(The best part of the article is when the owner of a fledgling sports bar says that while 20 to 25 people will show up to watch a local team on game night, 100 or so Boston transplants will show up to watch if a Boston team is playing. Good work, nation!)

Four things while I erase a week's worth of Red Sox Report from the DVR and wait for the Wake & Dougie show:

1. This morning the PM and I were walking to the T and I told her about Papelbon's new locker, and hypothesized that maybe there was an empty locker between Pap and Beckett because of the smell of strung-up duck carcasses and the PM pointed out that obviously he's using the extra locker as a smoker, and sometimes Beckett sort of sniffs and looks confused, but it doesn't smell like pachouli, cannabis or Tom's of Maine deodorant, so he just lets it go.

2. Due to yesterday's rain-out, Tavarez is apparently going to get the Patriot's Day start. To quote Mike, the potential for batshit crazy patented lunacy and other assorted shenanigans is particularly high, but one thing concerns me -- the Patriot's Day game starts at ten o'clock in the morning. Julian Tavarez really strikes me as the kind of guy who's usually passed out face-first on a cement floor at ten o'clock in the morning, dead to the world after a long night of bar fighting. Is someone going to make sure he actually shows up to the park on time? I would suggest his close chum Manny, but that's sort of like the blind leading the blind, or a blind dog trying to teach itself new tricks or .. some other really bad idea.

3. The weather has been wretch, and rain-outs suck, but the real victim here is Hazel Mae! We're almost two weeks into the season and I've yet to see my secret girlfriend in one of her trademark sweaters. (I know that I have to compete with Red and an unnamed Blue Jays non-roster invitee, but I'm confident that with a couple roofies a little charm, Hazel will someday switch teams for me.)

4. Great article on the second gear of Papelbon's fastball, although it does fail to mention that while some players have been caught doctoring with pine tar, Papelbon has been known to get an extra spin from an application of confit.


At 1:09 AM, Blogger Mike said...

I actually have Kathryn Tappen rated above Hazel Mae right now, but it's still early. Amalie Benjamin could very well be a factor later in the season.

That confit reference was magical...

At 9:24 AM, Blogger kelly said...

Kathryn Tappen is a little too fresh-faced for me, I like my female sports anchors to have a certain "used to be an exotic dancer" vibe to them. Additionally, I enjoy her columns, but has anyone SEEN Amalie Benjamin? This is the only picture Google Image Search could give me.

At 10:33 PM, Blogger ian said...

I've got some pics of Amalie over on my blog in the Amalie's Army section

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