coke and italian dressing: two great tastes that taste gross together!Since NESN holds its video clips hostage in some sort of non-linkable, non-downloadable flash player lockbox, I can't send you there directly, but please go here, select the Red Sox Channel and then click to the third page where you should see a clip labeled "Cooking with Jonathan Papelbon." In this magical three-minute clip, Tina Cervasio's Cavernous Maw plays Rachel Ray to Papelbon's ... I don't even know what, and they prepare the infamous Duck Recipe.
He talks a lot about how duck hunting "relaxes" him (does this make anyone else slightly nervous?) and refers to the pieces of duck breast repeatedly as "nuggets." And he puts them on skewers, wrapped in cream cheese, jalapeños and bacon. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. Eventually Tina deposits one in the Cavernous Maw, and she kind of looks like she wants to do the same. Whatever, I take the existence of this segment to mean that we are this much closer to making Hangin' With Paps and Papi a reality.
And, hey, Josh Beckett's pitching tonight! To review, the Papelblog party line on Josh Beckett:
1. 99 pitches and a bitch ain't one: More importantly, exactly how many DMB concerts do you think Josh Beckett has attended in his life? Phish?
2. Voice mail messages you probably hope you'll never receive: Hi, it's me, and I really want to discuss whether Josh Beckett looks like Chris Kirkpatrick on the cover of the new Improper Bostonian, so, uh, call me back.
3. Beckett really needs to lay off the fastball in 2007, or: All bets are off and every Beckett start is a three-date Dave Matthews Band concert, and we all wake up high on acid, watching the long balls flit across the sky like comets.
4. Pass the bowl and settle in: We have decided that if dangling Dave Matthews Band bootlegs like incentives for non-sucktastic pitching performances will not work on Josh Beckett, we might as well start summing up each Josh Beckett pitching performance with a Dave Matthews Band lyric.
So, we're back, we're ready, we're rested, and we'll be coming to you after every Josh Beckett appearance with a Dave Matthews Band lyric report. Feel free to send us lyrical suggestions at simba [at] andalsodeadfish [dot] net -- I stopped listening to Dave Matthews band for "artistic reasons" after they released Everyday and Katie "doesn't listen to jam bands" or something, so.